The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
