It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Who died my cat blue again?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize