he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
