i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
