Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Randomize
