I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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