omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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