My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
