Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize