I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
