if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
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