I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
