I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
