just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just found puke in my bra..
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
