Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You're like the curious george of whores
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
