im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
