I'm eating all of the evidence.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
And then he peed in my hair
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