Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
