May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
