Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Reggie can tackle my bush.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
