): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
