threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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