Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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