Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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