we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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