all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
