my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
