nut hugger
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
