i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
