Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
