i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
where does the pee come out of this thing
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
