WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
