Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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