I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize