I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
