your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She bit a glass in half.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
