Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
True strength comes from lack of pants
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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