have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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