Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
