Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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