it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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