Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
