we're blogging at a bar
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
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