oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
