There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
