Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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