im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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