do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
