If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
