I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
