our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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