I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
