It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
