but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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