The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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