i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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