Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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