the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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