babies were throwing up all over the place
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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