I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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