Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
that's an acceptable place to lick
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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