dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
