I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
